Tags
Conference, Creativity, Day Job, Dreams, Swimming, Tumblr, Work, Writing
Have you ever gone swimming and decided to see how long you could hold your breath or how deep you could swim?
Seemed like a good idea — a challenge!
You take and release a few breaths to get your lungs ready, one … two … three. You take the biggest breath you can, hold it and plunge your body under water, head down, determined.
You kick your legs and part the water with your arms, keeping your eyes open to your surroundings to see how far you can go. Bubbles make their slow escape. You measure your air as seconds slow and you stop. You look up at the surface touched by the sun – blue sky blurred by the ripples from waves.
The water surrounds you, holds you, jostles you gently back and forth. More bubbles escape and your chest tightens as a reminder you only have so much air left. You realize you won’t be able to hold it much longer.
You kick with force and start to swim back up. You reach towards the sun. The surface seems so close, yet with every stroke of your arms, it’s still so out of reach.
For a moment you wonder, Do I have enough air? You pull at the water, reach, kick, watch the last bubble float by, try not to panic, your chest aches and you press your lips together resisting the urge breath. But then your fingers break through the surface, your hand, arm, and then your face.
Air!
You gasp and gulp and let the cool air fill your desperate lungs. You’re fine, relieved and even energized. I could have gone deeper. But a knowing smirk forms on your salty wet lips. That would have been pushing your luck. You turn towards the shore, the sun warming your shoulders, and take lazy strokes back to land.
March has been the deep end for me. I’m still under water, holding my breath and reaching for the surface. I know I will break through in a few more days. I’ll breath in the fresh air and may even look back and think I could have gone deeper, but right now, I need to swim hard!
What am I talking about?
The day job.
Last year, I decided that my small program of two could organize and pull off a statewide conference for nearly 300 people. For some, this might be easy but I am not a party planner!
With some help from volunteers and an additional contracted person we set off to make this conference happen. Then in February the one other person in my program left. Our team of three went back to two and I’ve had to pick up the conference planning load on top of the usual day job responsibilities. So I took the deepest breath I could and dove in!
With just a week left we are tying up loose ends, wrapping up those last details and getting ready for the big event. My mind has been consumed with work … at night, on my days off, even in my dreams where something about the conference always goes wrong. Let’s hope they’re not premonitions! Random thoughts pop into my head at the weirdest moments and there’s no room in my brain for anything else — too busy to be creative.
The conference is on April 1st and after that I expect things at the day job to settle down. I’m looking forward to having room in my mind for creativity, for writing and for getting back to blogging!
In the meantime, I’ve got my head down, my breath held. I’m swimming, kicking as hard as I can and reaching for the surface to get my head above water again!
See you in April! Now that Spring is in the air seems like lots of writers are getting reenergized. Writer or not, hope that’s true for you too!
Carrie Rubin said:
I’m impressed. Planning a conference for that many people sounds like a huge undertaking. I’m sure it will be great. You’ll have to give yourself a special treat when it’s over!
Enjoyed this post. Beautifully written. What a perfect metaphor for your task it is. 🙂
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Arlene said:
Thanks Carrie. Easy to come up with this metaphor since it feels like I’m really holding my breath! 🙂 I’m been so absent from the blog and it was bugging me but at the same time, I just haven’t had the energy for being creative. I finally accepted that and of course as soon as I did, I thought of this post.
I’m nervous as heck about the conference but I think it will be great (I hope!). I’m looking forward to it but I think I’m looking forward to it being over even more. Then I can get back to my usual routine. Thanks for the words of encouragement!!!
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Carrie Rubin said:
When it’s over, you’ll probably look back and think, “How in the world did I do that?” In retrospect, it’s always an impressive feat, one that warrants a big self-pat on the back. 🙂
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Arlene said:
Or a new journal 🙂 That’s always a great treat for me!
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Kirsten said:
Great post, and gorgeous pictures! Good luck with the conference. 🙂
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Arlene said:
Thanks Kirsten. It actually took me so much longer than usual to find the right pictures to illustrate my thoughts and feelings. I think it was worth the time. Thanks for the luck, I can use it!
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char said:
I agree with Carrie…you picked the perfect metaphor for your commitment to this conference. Good luck! I bet you’ll do great! Looking forward to hearing how it went when you finally come up for air.
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Arlene said:
I’m glad I had the foresight to contract with a person who is 20 times more organized than I am, to help put this conference together. Without her, I think I would have probably had to cancel it. I do also have some great volunteers but it’s amazing how much energy it takes to make this happen. You just had your daughter’s wedding so I’m sure you understand.
As I said to Carrie, I’m looking forward to the conference and I’m looking forward to it being over so I can get back to writing and blogging again. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Char!
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Inion N. Mathair said:
Hate to be a repeat offender but we too agree with Char & Carrie. That metaphor was not only perfect. That post was brilliantly written Arlene!!! And you are one helluva woman to be able to organize an event of that magnitude! But then, we always knew you we’re!!!!! ❤
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Arlene said:
Hi InM, I don’t mind you repeating what the other’s said, especially if you’re going to follow it up with such awesome compliments 🙂 Thanks!!! You two are always so supportive and positive. I really appreciate it!!!
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Patti Hall said:
Grabbing onto the train of thought by Carrie, Char & Inion N Mathair 🙂 Great post!
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Arlene said:
Thanks Patti!
For most of March, I kept thinking over and over again that I hadn’t blogged in such a long time and had nothing good coming to mind. I knew it was because of the pressure at work and I finally said to myself, “April is coming, I’ll get my head above water soon.” As soon as I said that the words came to me.
I was so happy to have something to write about and the energy to write it. I think because the conference is so close and there are only last minute details to worry about my mind had a little more space in it to breathe and be creative. That and the sun! The sun always helps 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
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Patti Hall said:
My pleasure! I especially loved the momentum that you built as the post progressed. Perfect.
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Arlene said:
Thanks for saying so! 🙂
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4amWriter said:
The energy you need for your conference sounds like the energy I need for my Halloween parties. I am not a party planner, either, so when I do them they take up all of my focus and concentration. Not much else gets accomplished. Good luck and looking forward to seeing you back here soon!
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Arlene said:
Thanks Kate, I can use the good luck 🙂
You’re so right, all my focus and concentration has been on work and not letting anything there slip by the wayside that zoning out at night, instead of writing became the norm for March.
One more week to go and still plenty of loose ends to tie up but then it’s over and I can make my way back to the blogosphere, to my journal and to my WIPs. Looking forward to it! 🙂
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Naomi Baltuck said:
Hi Arlene,
I love this analogy. Conference planning is a huge task to take on. I have a cousin who disappears every October through mid November, until her annual conference is planned and she can come up for air. You are almost there! Wishing you the best of luck!
P.S. I hope you have some kind of April 1st joke planned!
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Arlene said:
Naomi,
April 1st was the only day we could get the hotel for, so we took it, but I hope the joke is not on me 😉
It is huge. I knew it would be but it’s much bigger than I expected. I was smart enough, though, not to commit to making this an annual event. Of course, it’ll be a bit easier next time, but still I am going to cherish my writing time so much more when I get back to it!!! 🙂
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Sheila said:
I feel your pain (with both the day job conference planning and hoping to come up for air)! That’s good that the end is near – maybe you can breathe a little easier just knowing that. Good luck and don’t forget to breathe!
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Arlene said:
Trying to breathe. Although I have to admit a few times today I had major heart palpitations when the realization that the conference is just one week away entered my mind. Then again, it’s just one week away and then it’s over and I can settle down. I can focus on refilling that position for the day job and get back to my regular writing routine when I’m home. Thanks for the encouraging words Sheila!!!
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Harliqueen said:
Great post, good luck with it all! 🙂
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Arlene said:
Thanks Harliqueen. I’ll take all the luck I can get 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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G M Barlean said:
Oh dear!!! Planning a conference for 300!!! Just thinking about that made me panic. I’m glad you were able to hire someone.
Where is this conference? What is it for?
You will do great, but I’ll send you best wishes. I can relate to the dreaming about things going wrong. I do that all of the time. Good luck!!
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Arlene said:
Hi Gina, I have to admit I’ve had my moments of panic. The dreams are funny, once I wake up. I had one where I showed up for the conference to give the opening remarks in my PJs, in another I didn’t have my welcoming remarks ready yet but was being ushered onto the stage and in another everyone’s name tags were in sandwich baggies pinned to their shirts because we forgot to buy the plastic laminated name tag holder things.
Thanks for asking about the conference. It’s an Assistive Technology Conference. I work with people with disabilities helping them to get Assistive Technology or adaptive equipment for greater independence at work, school or in the community. Examples would be items like power wheelchairs and scooters, ramps for a person’s home, computers with special software for people who are blind, or devices that speak for people who can’t communicate with their own voice. The conference will have workshops and computer training and exhibitors all related to the variety of and latest Assistive Technology that’s out there. It should be fun and educational! It has nothing to do with writing, but I do love what I do at my day job.
Thanks for the well wishes! I’ll take all I can get 🙂
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G M Barlean said:
Great cause. Keep taking those deep breaths. You’ll be fine!
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jmmcdowell said:
Yes, you chose a perfect analogy for what you’re experiencing and wrote it so well—compelling imagery and clear language! 🙂 I can’t begin to imagine all the work involved in organizing that conference, but it sounds like you’re well-prepared, and everyone will be saying how it was one of the best they’ve attended. Those dreams are normal, so don’t sweat them. 😉
Looking forward to seeing more posts when you’ve got the chance to breathe again!
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Arlene said:
” … and everyone will be saying how it was one of the best they’ve attended.” I don’t know about that … would be nice though. I guess we’re as ready as we can be.
I’m looking forward to writing more posts again too. I’ve mostly spent time trying to read up on other’s blogs but even there I’ve been a few days behind or just clicking the ‘like’ button and not commenting as much. It’ll feel good to get back to routine.
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HRH said:
I truly enjoyed this post. It’s beautifully written, and without knowing specifically why you wrote the post until the “epilogue”, I related to every bit of it. That’s the beauty of writing. The reader takes over your writing in his or her mind, into their own imagination, and can relate in a completely different manner to the same writing. In my case, it has to do with a personal struggle I’m currently going through. I’m just trying to claw my way to the surface for air, and clawing at water is futile. Some days, however, I don’t have the strength to pull the water as if it’s a liquid rope I’m climbing back to the surface to gulp more air. Sometimes, all I can do is claw and scratch my way to the top to fill my lungs once more.
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Arlene said:
Thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m glad you enjoyed this.
Whatever your personal situation may be, I hope you find your way to get your head above water as well! Hoping things will be okay for you. One thing I didn’t think about until I read your reply is that sometimes if you just relax and don’t fight the water you will float to the top. Hope this will be true for you. Good luck!
And as others have been saying to me, don’t forget to breathe 🙂
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Skye Callahan said:
Great piece, and I can relate since I’m currently in the middle of a very similar situation. We’re organizing our annual 2-day conference at the day job, which usually has 350-400 attendees, and we usually have 12+ people to plan and run it. This year we have 4 people to plan the conference in addition to a full load of our regular work. Writing is on hold for a few weeks.
Good luck!!
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Arlene said:
4 people for a two-day conference? Wow! I thought I had a lot to do 🙂 I’m sure it will be great and at least you have a framework from your previous conferences, hopefully that helps.
Yes, writing has definitely been on hold but at least for me, I do see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Good luck! Hope the conference goes well and you can get back to your own writing soon. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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Denise Hisey said:
Wow Arlene! That is a huge challenge to plan such a large event! No wonder you need to come up for air! 🙂
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Arlene said:
Indeed! But after tomorrow, all the major tasks will be done. Then I just have to keep practicing my welcoming remarks so I don’t jumble them. A few more days and I can take a deep breath of fresh air and hopefully actually get to enjoy the conference! 🙂
It’ll be great to get back to my routine for writing and blogging again. Glad you stopped by!
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Kourtney Heintz said:
Wow Arlene that’s a massive undertaking planning a conference for that many people. Just thinking about all those moving parts makes me stressed.
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Arlene said:
Believe me Kourtney, it was stressful! But it’s over now and it turned out to be a great day!! 🙂 I’m catching my breath now!
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