Early during Tropical Storm Sandy, I decided it was time to make my blog public. I made it “visible” for anyone and everyone to see and clicked the save button.
Nothing like going live with your very first blog in the middle of a storm. The howling wind sounded a lot like the doubt swirling around my head, “Dooooon’t doooooo it!” The leaves were swept up in circles and dropped back to the ground — a lot like that sinking-flying-sinking again feeling in my stomach. The rain drove against the windows … were those potential readers telling me how bad my blog was?
About 25 minutes later, I gathered up the guts to see if, by chance, someone accidentally stumbled upon and read my blog. To my surprise, there was someone … and he was even kind enough to click “Like” (thank you kind stranger, Patrick Latter!!!). But just when it registered in my mind that someone actually read it … the power went out…
Arghhh!! (that was me … not the wind)
What could I do?
Tick, tock … just wait … tick, tock … in the dark … tick, tock … and wonder … and wait some more.
It was all I could do. We passed the time listening to the radio and I wrote in my journal by flashlight. Every now and then I remembered that I made my blog public and my heart fluttered, I felt flush, I got excited, I worried. The wind blew and pressed on the walls of the house, making sounds I’ve never heard before and all I could do was wonder if anyone else found the blog? Had they read it? What did they think?
I knew, of course, that I’d be nervous and feel vulnerable about doing this blog, but I had no idea how much! And the similarities between the storm outside and the one brewing inside me didn’t help … but there’s no turning back now. I feel a little like one of the three pigs, shouting back, “you can huff and you can puff, but you can’t blow my blog down!”
I was one of the lucky ones. Our power came back on before the next morning and the Internet by that afternoon. I’ve hesitantly checked to see if anyone else has stumbled upon, tripped on or fallen over my blog … and look, I got a second “Like” 🙂 Yeah! And that one is from a writer whose blog, The Write Transition, I’ve been following and enjoying for some time now (thank you Carrie Rubin – so appreciated!!!).